Rule 2.6.12 Conceding
Conceding can take place at any point in the game, ideally as close to the start as possible if you are playing Jimbo. On particularly tricky holes (such as the big water hazard at St. Mellion) concessions should be cautiously withheld, just in case your opponent buggers it up too.
Rule 7.1.4 Golfing Attire
The golfing dress code should represent the high standards that are expected of the game. Loud and garish articles should stay in the locker room, or firmly belted to Gaz's waist.
Rule 7.1.4.1 Summer Wear
If playing in foreign climes, be sure to wear the appropriate shorter versions of your usual attire. You should also consider high factor sun cream so that you don't end up bright red or with the finest set of short/t-shirt/sock tan lines you've ever seen.
Rule 4.8.4 Crossing the Line
Whilst invisible and imaginary, the line on the green between the ball and the cup is sacred and must not be stepped upon. This includes the 6 foot of run off required on the other side, and the 3 feet either side should the green slope against the putters prior understanding of it.
Rule 16.1.1 Natural Hazards
In addition to the natural hazards noted in the R&A and local rules, all parts of Briās body are considered a natural hazard. Should Bri stray in front of your shot, it should be counted in the same manner as if it was a flock of birds or a squirrel. If he is still alive, use a humane 4 iron and then play the ball from where it lies. If the body is resting on the ball, simply remove it taking care not to change the position of the ball to your advantage.
Rule 16.0 The Putting Surface
If there is grass on the green you may play the hole.
Rule 4.2.2 Acceptable Club Dimensions
Shankers holds no rules over the size, shape or sheer ridiculousnessĀ of driver heads to be employed on the tourĀ (see the house on a stick employed by Nolan). However due to recent innovations in putter technology it has been deemed illegal to use anything made of clear acrylic and stainless steel which looks like a pole dancers 12" platforms. Should you be approached by anyone on the tour touting such wares, just say no. The neon blue under lighting of this years modelsĀ are especially frowned upon.
Rule 1.1.2 Women's Tees
The reachability of the women's tees for the standard of players on the Shankers tour should not come into question. However, in the unlikely event that an air shot was taken or the ball was not to reach this point the proper procedure should be to take the next shot as nature intended with trousers around the ankles. This is in most cases likely to get the group thrown off the course or at the very least result in severe rubber burns should the club handle catch on the way through. Therefore the player may instead elect to drink his own body weight in alcohol that night.
Rule 10.6.1 Acceptable Water Hazards
The sea is an acceptable water hazard; indeed, it is compulsory to sink at least one ball into the depths of the ocean at some point during the tournament. Certain players are exempt from this rule (Allan, Brian).
Rule 1.1.1 Drink!
Any occasion should be toasted during the Shankers tournament. This may be teeing off at the first, or preparing to tee off at the 18th. In fact, any point in between the two will be perfectly acceptable, as will all occasions after and before.
Rule 3.6.14 External Assistance
As Shankers has developed, the eligibility for the teams has grown as well. Scandinavians are as common as an Ikea store in the line up and are well represented on both teams. The use of outside help (luring players with young women, Henry the Hoover etc.) is clearly not in the spirit of the game and should be avoided at all costs. Except maybe the young women (or Henry if you're really desperate and it's been a long time).
Rule 14.2.8 Relief Situations and Procedures
Considering the amount of beer consumed by the average Shankers player, relief can be taken anytime, anyplace, anywhere, though in true male tradition the proper procedure is to find something vertical to take relief up against, even if that is the 150 yard marker by the side of the fairway.
Rule 3.1.1 Substituted Ball, Wrong Ball
If you happen to notice that you have played the wrong ball, check to see if it is a Titleist 3. If it is, start running, as Jimbo will be coming to find you. Otherwise carry on.
Rule 19.3.5 A Stone in the Bunker
Should you encounter a Stone in the bunker, do not be alarmed, this is perfectly normal and to be expected. As a matter of fact, spotting a Stone in the bunker will generally result in you winning the hole, as history suggests that once a Stone is in the bunker, it is usually there to stay. Keep a wide berth and be vigilant at all times. Most importantly, do not offer any assistance in trying to remove the obstacle from the bunker, because as everyone knows a Stone in the sand is worth a Runc in the bush.
Rule 3.2.2 Attending the Flag
Although gamesmanship is actively encourage during the tournament, emulating what you saw a leggy 19 year old stripper do on a pole last night with the flag as your opponent tries to putt out is considered unsportsmanlike, even if you do have a nice set of pins in those shorts.
Rule 20.1 Putting Etiquette
Although theĀ Shankers tournament does take precidenceĀ over pretty much anything else, the line of angry members does tend to build up behind the last four ball like planes coming in to land at Heathrow. To this end it is encouraged to let your opponent have that 2" putt rather thanĀ make him line it up (and believe us, Trevyn will line it up from all angles).Ā It is also frowned upon to emulate his holiness the pope in getting down on all fours and kissing the ground each time you landĀ on the green.