💬 Memorable Quotes
"“Concede!”"
— J. Ross, Cork 2005
"“Uh oh the wheels have come off...”"
— Various, Cork 2005
"“Take your medicine!”"
— J. Ross, Cornwall 2006
"“Try not to think about that water hazard in front of you”"
— D. Bryden, Cornwall 2006
"“I haven’t had a spanking like that since...”"
— S. Constantine, Ayr 2007
"“Use the three-ball putting system”"
— C. Bell, Ayr 2007
"“Let’s finish these bastards off”"
— Various, Ayr 2007
"“Safety first”"
— J. Ross, Cork 2005
"“Who are yi?”"
— Team Celt, Cork 2005
"“We don’t hear you singing anymore”"
— Team England, Cornwall 2006
"“There's plenty of chicken left on that bone...”"
— M. Constantine, Cork 2005
"“He's got the touch of a rapist around the green”"
— J. King, Vilamoura 2008
"“You dropped your lipstick”"
— J. King, most years
"“You look like a big Gavin Henson”"
— G. Anderson, Swansea 2009
"“It's like taking candy off a baby”"
— M. Constantine, Swansea 2009
⛳ Match Records
Longest drive
M. Constantine, 354 yards, 18th at Machynys, Swansea 2009
Nearest the pin on a par 3
B. Allan, 2 feet, Ayr 2007
Most eagles in a round
Not yet recorded
Most birdies in a round
Not yet recorded
Highest number of balls lost in a round
B. Allan, 16 balls, Cork 2005
Highest number of attempts to escape a bunker
B. Allan, 7 attempts, Cork 2005
Greatest number of bunker shots in a single round
B. Allan, 23 shots, Cork 2005
Greatest number of tee shots failing to reach ladies tee box
C. Runciman, 3 tee shots, Ayr 2007
Worst tee shot
J. Ross, Royal Porthcawl, Swansea 2009
Longest time taken to play 9 holes
B. Allan & co, 4.5 hrs at Pennard, Swansea 2009
🤪 Wacky Match Statistics
Biggest collapse
G. McGowan, 2 up with 3 to play and lost, Ayr 2007
Most impressive come back
Not yet recorded
Highest number of fresh air tee shots
Not yet recorded
Highest number of contacts with the ball in a single swing
T. Underhill, 2 contacts, Cornwall 2006
Longest flight of a golf bag
J. Ross, 22 yards, Cork 2005
Chief sandbagger
R. Marks, Cornwall 2006, Ayr 2007
Biggest bandits
T. Underhill / S. Stone jointly held, Cork 2005
Best turned out golfer
Team Sweden, Ayr 2007
Most bizarre golfing attire
G. Anderson, tartan troos
Cheapest formal attire
Team England, grey embroided blazers, Cork 2005
Most scenic off-course mass drive
Ayr beachfront, Ayr, 2007
Closest to spontaneous human combustion
G. Anderson, Swansea docks, Swansea 2009
Worst dressed 4-ball
Channon/Karlsson lumo-troo combo, Royal Porthcall, Swansea 2009
Golf club abuse award
N. Cocker, killing sasquatch, Swansea 2009
Best baritone
B. Allan, Jerusalum, Swansea 2009
Grease v Talc chaffe wars
Grease 7&6, Swansea 2009
Biggest score draw
J. Ross, 8-8 vs undelay, Swansea 2009
✨ Miracle Shots
Miracle putts
S. Stone, 40 feet, Cork 2005
Miracle putts
G. McGowan, also 40 feet ish, Pinhal Hole 14, Vilamoura 2008
Holed bunker shots
G. Anderson, Ayr 2007
Holed chips off the green
Not yet recorded
Holes in one
Not yet recorded
Best use of natural obstacles e.g. trees, rabbit scratchings, sheep shit
Not yet recorded
🤔 Unusual Golf Shots
Executing chip shot whilst ankle deep in water
N. Cocker, Cornwall 2006
Reverse drive
M. Dampier, Cork 2005
Reverse putting grip to combat yips
C. Bell, Cornwall 2006
Hand to head prior to completion of swing
J. Hackland, Ayr 2007
Douglas Bader bunker shot
K. Kollov, 18th hole, Royal Porthcall, Swansea 2009
🍺 Social & Drinking Records
Fastest downing of a pint
B. Allan, 3.82 seconds, Cork 2005
Most booze consumed in one evening
Not yet recorded
Heaviest human bench press
J. Ross lifting M. Constantine, Cork 2005
Friendliest pub
Hi-Be, Cork 2005
Filthiest strip club
Princess of Night, Vilamoura 2008
Holes in one off the course
C. Runciman, Cork 2005, Cornwall 2006, Ayr 2007
Best attempt at placing a decoy mole in opposite camp
Henry Hoover, Cornwall 2006
Best curry
Ayr, 2007
Best beer
Guinness, Cork 2005
Worst whiskey
Paddys, Cork 2005
Nearest aversion of disaster for Shankers Trophy
Bouncer confiscation, Cork 2005
Most shameful display of violence
Team Celt, marina street fight, Vilamoura 2008
Bloodiest shirt
N. Cocker, Faro Airport, Vilamoura 2008
Spoons champion
C. Kirkham, Vilamoura 2008
Arm wrestling champion
J. Ross, Vilamoura 2008
Thumb wars champion
M. Channon, Vilamoura 2008
Highest moony
J. Ross, Vilamoura Harbour 2008
Least sleep
C. Runciman, 0 minutes, Swansea 2009
Worst handling of a hot curry
M. Constantine, semi unconsiousness, Swansea 2009
Worst smelling payload
C. Bell, Swansea 2009
Best bird attraction
Dyson dancing, Swansea 2009
Best bird repellent
Wedding rings, Swansea 2009
Keeping it in the family
C. Runciman, even got his shirt ironed, Swansea 2009
Good samaritan award
N. Cocker, mercy at 4am in England captains room with fire hose, Swansea 2009
🏌️ Equipment Hall of Shame
Oldest clubs
P. Horton, circa 1904
Biggest club head
N. Cocker, Nike SQ Driver, Ayr 2007
Biggest array of rescue clubs
Channon Brothers, Ayr 2007
Largest array of golf aids
S. Stone, Ayr 2007
Most innovative putter
C. Runciman, Vilamoura 2008
Most expensive set of clubs
G. Anderson, circa £2k
Cheapest set of clubs
D. O'Sullivan, £100 imitation Callaways
Most ridiculous umbrella
T. Houghton, Taylor Made, 62" diameter, double canopy automatic
Golf cart abandoned with a flat and lots of swearing
M. Constantine, Pinhal Hole 6, Vilamoura 2008
Flattest shankers club head
J. Ross, 0 degree loft, Swansea 2009